i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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