Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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