Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
