I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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