I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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