ADVERTISEMENT

• (916): View more from California

  Hey you

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?

  Fav 42 2680 920

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low

  Fav 24 1068 4571

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

  Fav 21 1569 5435

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!

  Fav 56 5011 814

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.

  Fav 16 4765 1175

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.

  Fav 18 7347 946

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

  Fav 4 846 3183

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.

  Fav 2 2415 1077

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house

  Fav 2 1250 909

  share tweet
  

• (517): View more from Michigan

  how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind

  Fav 4 486 880

  share tweet
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed

  Fav 2 821 489

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.

  Fav 3 663 326

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.

  Fav 0 10 63

  share tweet
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful

  Fav 0 55 17

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid

  Fav 0 114 18

  share tweet
  

Randomize