What a fucking waste of an outfit
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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