She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
