theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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