I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize