I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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