so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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