was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
