So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
