Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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