connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
