your parents love me but you hate me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
