Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
