Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
