Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
