Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
His nipple licking is glorious
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