then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
