i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
