How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
