I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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