Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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