Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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