Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
