Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
