I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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