I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
