Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
