I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
