Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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