But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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