Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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