dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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