I look better un-naked...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
