Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
