We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i came on her dog
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
