why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
