They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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