i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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