I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
