I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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