She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
