I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
