he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
