I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
