small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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