Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize