don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
