Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
