You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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