yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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