Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i now understand why vodka
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
