i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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