It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
